WHY ARE WE STUDYING COMMUNICATION…
…is easily resumed in Falco’s quote from the letters:
Communication will become more and more important for you:
if improved, it will help and save you, if worstened, it will disperse you.
I have chosen each and everyone of you, therefore each one of you is important.
Remember: if you speak you are strong, but if you communicate you are Divine.
As Falco has asked me personally, in the letters he left, to teach the basics of Communication within the School of Meditation, I am sharing with you - as I have done in the MCD to all resident initiates, the following, which are my personal views, understandings and interpretations on the topic of Communication, particularly in Groups.
HARMONIC CIRCLE & SYNCHRONICITY
When people forming a group have a common aim and objective, and their reciprocal relationships - amongst each and every participant of the group - are truly devoid of any separetness, they can express a Power which is way behond the simple sum of each individual’s energy and resourses and even synchronicity.
When relationships, whithin the group, are clear and transparent, and theye is no witheld communication, unspoked tension, or under the table conflict, the available synchronicity for each individual and for the whole group will have an exponential increase, because...
"Synchronicity flows through forms
in proportion to their inter-connectedness
whith other forms.”
If, as an example, a group of 12 people with a common, spiritual goal is truly harmonious, instead of 12 units of available Energy in all it’s possible forms (individual resources* + synchronicity), they have the potential of expressing 12x12 = 144 units of Energy, meaning 12 for each participant. This means, very practically, that by truly and coherently converging people’s attention, desire, focus, communication towards the common aim, while remaining in true, deep, harmonious and loving connection with each other, they as a whole and each individual can potentially reach their objective 12 times faster, or 12 times more, whatever that means in any given context.
Harmonic does not mean that there is never any tension or conflict amongst the group's members: it is sometimes inevitable that physiological tensions and conflicts naturally, occasionally arise in a group, but if instead of being allowed to become destructive they are spiritually and intelligently managed, they don’t become a cause of separation, but of further bonding and self-knowledge, deeper Love and understanding, for all those involved.
STRATEGIC CONFLICT MANAGEMENT & RESOLUTION
“Where there is no conflict,
there is no community.”
Meaning conflict, friction, tension, is the natural and inevitable by-product of true encounter of "different from self”, and it is not necessarily negative or detrimental. It all depends if and how it is aknowleged, accepted, not taken personally, and ecologically managed, or not. When properly, spiritually and intelligently managed, a conflict can bring poeple much closer than they were before it’s occurence.
The reason this is often not people’s experience, is simply because of lack of sufficient knowledge, positive examples and education in this field, which is mostly governed by denial, removal, backbiting, negative judgments, war and separation, in other words: fear.
This is why I belive that in a Group of conscious people any emerging conflict between 2 or more people, instead of being avoided and only apparantly ignored, should be instead openly and serenly declared. When openly declared, conflicts stop undermining fundamental trust amonst people, who can perfectly understand that “shit happens” (it happens to eeverybody to experience it, from time to time). The point is not to allow the shit to grow under the talbe and become a destructive avalanche of poison. This is more easily done when it is declared, while implicitly (or even better explicitly) implying that one is taking responibility to take some time with the person one is unconfortable with, to clarify all misunderstandind around some particular incident, of feeling. Once cleared, the people informed of the conflict, must be also informed of it’s resolution, even though most of the time, if living together or in close contact, others also immediately feel the eimprovement of the overall energy level and feeling, of the whole group. Still, it is better to always declare it, as to “close” the file in each and everyone’s mind and heart, enjoy and rejoice for the even closer bonds tightened thanks to that conflict.
TRACING THE CIRCLE
When meeting in a Harmonic Circle mode, there is a good practice which helps foster the appropriate state of mind and loving (non judgimental) predisposition in participant’s hearts. I call this “tracing the Circle”; very much like when a magical circle is being traced with a magical instrument, prior to a ritual. In this case, the magical instrument is everyoone’s conscious and deliberate (full) Attention and Presence.
One at a time (who begins can be sorted causally, by synchronicity, per example by spinning a pen), each person expresses very simply how they are feeling, in that very moment, about being there in the group, preparing to share the programmed work (whatever that is). About 30 seconds each, is more than enough, or maximum about 1 minute in special cases if there are particular things to share (deepening individual issues can be done later, if needed/chosen). The most important thing is that while each person expresses themselves, ALL the others are giving them their FULL Attention, in a state of serene, non judgimental aknowledgement of their Being. While listenting to others, during the tour, one should ideally be trying to feel what must it be like to experience Life through that particular, different perspective from one’s own, while honoring the divine leela of separateness.
“Our world is a shared experience,
fractured by individual perception.
Magic, is when we can all
understand each other.”
When one person finishes, they say “ho!” (“I spoke”), and all the others, in unison, respond “Ho! (“We heard/felt”).
There are different ways to establish the order in which people speak, and I prefer this one:the person who just spoke, silently stares at the person they instinctvely and arbitrairily wishes to speak after them, thus creating an element of unexpectedness which keeps the overall attention and energy level a bit higher that when it’s predictible, a it is when one the person who speaks is the one next to who just spoke.
After the Harmonic Cirle has been opened, it is advisable to always speak only one at a time, while really listening, not only with one’s hears, to each other, at the same time without becoming too strict or rigid: the goal is only to generate Attention and deeper listening and connectedness: being too rigid in applying the rules can become a distraction and generate distance, so it is important to always name, before beginning, a balanced Facilitator, who appreciates order, but also a has a healthy senso of humor :-) Always also “close” the opened Circle session, in whatever simple way you may determine (gathering and saluting the fire, or similar things).
What I just described is not the new way that you “must” do things, it is just a possibility you may decide to apply, or not, if and when you feel it can help the Group to reach it’s objectives, only when and if it is considered useful for that purpose. It is not part of Meditation rules or guidlines.
The following are some basic rules, regarding Communication, that Meditation has suggested initiates would consider in theit daily lives and interactions with one another, to help evolve collective Communication and Relationships style:
1- Avoid back biting (speaking negatively of absent people), and try to completely eradicate the habit, if such, from your life.
2- If someone around you forgets the previous, don’t lend your ear and give energy to it, but gently change the subject and bring your attention to more constructive, or pleasant subject of perspective.
3. If/when you experience any sort of conflict, clear it ASAP (maximum within a week). Even if it's just a relational disconfort with someone, don’t talk to others about it while avoiding for weeks to talk not directly with the interested person (unless it’s for asking help and advice), but then address ASAP directly with the person you feel you have a problem with, as every day you let pass by without cleansing and clarifing the situation, is poisoning not only yourself, but the whole group/community. If needed, use some basic conflict negotiation process *, and if you (and/or the other) find it particularly difficult, ask a capable facilitator to help you. If you have spoken to others about a conflict or tension which you later addressed and resolved, also inform the people you had proviously spoken about the conflict, that it has now been solved.
4- Always take responsibility for your own emotions: initiates should always master, as much as possible, their own mind and emotions, which doesn’t mean not having thoughts and feelings, even unpleasant ones at times, but it means NEVER believing or considering others to be responsible for our own negative responses, thoughts and feelings. We are what we think, and positive, grateful thinking can be applied to ALL circumstances (the worse they are, the more positive thinking is needed). Giving away your responsibility, means giving away you Power. Falco’s definition of devine Love is “acceptance withough judgement”.
5- When communicating, always consider and beware of feed-back, remembering that factual communication in not what you intended to communicate, but it consists - more factually - in the response you elicited in those who received it. If/when you feel you have not been understood, do recognise that that result is your creation/communication, however well intended, it simply didn’t work, or get through, and not necessairily anyone’s fault. Simply find another way to communicate what you intend to convey, until you get the desired response (understanding).
It seems to me that I covered the main topics we addressed. If I forgot something please let me know.
As I write, I feel it would really be nice to have a form of Communication “Circle” connecting you all - or those interested - on these specific topics, between your meetings in Damanhur, so that you can continue sharing experiences, insights, inspiring resources on these subjects, etc, Maybe a closed FaceBook pace, or a “mail-circle” (forum type), or something else. If interested, we can sort this out togehter the next time we meet.
Meanwhile try to practice the above as much as possible, and feel free to share your insights, successes and difficulties.